The Years' I Don't Remember Pt.1

Content Warning: This article mentions topics such as sexual assault, anxiety, depression, and death. "If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  (1-800-273-8255)." 

There I was during Thanksgiving, sitting on my cousins bed trying to convince my friend Sam not to kill himself. It was the year where my flip phone was still in style. We were both extremely depressed just trying to confide in each other; until that night everything hit rock bottom. It was about 8'clock when I was sitting on the twin bed upstairs isolated from my family, when he told me specifically that he was going to find a gun and use it on himself.  How could I make someone feel better and not commit suicide if I didn't even want to be alive myself? I was 16 when I had to call the police from 155 miles away. I couldn't take a chance on a situation like this, I would rather be safe than sorry. If I was in his position I would want someone to do the same thing for me. To be honest I don't really remember that Thanksgiving of 2013 because I was that depressed. This is one of the only memories I have from that holiday week. The last thing I remember was lying in bed and being brought a dinner plate; after that was a blur. 

*Names were changed to protect the privacy of others