The Years' I Don't Remember Pt.4

Content Warning: This article mentions topics such as sexual assault, anxiety, depression, and death. "If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255)."


It was senior week at my college. Every year the senior class gathers at someones house for the "Tour de Franzia" party. Everyone had to have a partner, wear matching outfits, and split a bag of wine between the two of them. I was partnered with one of my friends named Kyle that hot summer day when we both shared the bag of Franzia. I was so wasted that I threw up in the woods. Towards the end of the party I was sitting in the chair on the lawn until some of friends told me we had to leave because the police were there. I walked towards the dorms with my friends and remember going to Kyle's room to relax before the night started. We both ended up laying next to each other on his old roommates bed talking- the bed didn't even have sheets because his roommate left for the semester. I remember he started moving his hand towards my shorts, when I told him I didn't want to do anything; his hands kept going down further. I kept saying no, but his hands were still in my pants. I was so drunk that I was in that stage where the room was spinning. The last thing I remember from that day was him fingering me, me saying no, and then the room went dark.

I fell asleep.